Sofreh Aghd – The civil and religious marriage
The sofreh aghd is a traditional wedding spread where traditions (both legal and ceremonial) are exchanged. These traditions have been practised for thousands of years and the spreads are customary for Persian Weddings.
In a Persian Wedding ceremony, oftentimes the couple will situate themselves on a chair or bench, in front of, or behind the Sofreh Aghd.
Honey dipping during Aghd
One of my favorite Persian Wedding traditions involves the honey you will find on the Sofreh Aghd. On the Sofreh, the honey is often in a small bowl or beautiful vessel. The thought process is that if the couple begins their marriage with something sweet (honey), this will aid them in having a sweet and joyful marriage for the rest of their lives. After each one of them gives their consent to be married, one may hold the bowl while the other feeds them a taste of honey with their pinky finger and then this is repeated by the other.
The Cake Knife Dance (or Raghseh Chagoo)
This playful tradition begins when the couple is ready to cut their cake. A family member or friend will begin to dance away with the knife so the couple have to earn it back. The couple can do this by offering money to the person dancing with their knife. The dancer may accept the money but pass the knife on to someone else to continue the dance. This continues until someone decides they have been won overy by the money given and gives the couple their knife back.
Sugar Grinding
During the ceremony, the couple will be seated, and loved ones of the couple will be called up to spread the cloth of unity over the couple’s heads. Sometimes this is done by happily married women, who will opposite ends of the cloth. Then other loved ones will take turns grinding sugar above the cloth. This is representative of the couple having sweetness through their marriage, even during times of conflict.
The Sofreh Aghd table contains several highly symbolic items:
(Depending on the families other items may be included along with lots of flowers)
Mirror & Candelabras
The couple is gifted a mirror and candlesticks which will be later used in their future home to commemorate their wedding. In Persian culture, the mirror represents immortality. The couple will sit in front of it and look at one another in the mirror. The candles represent light and warmth.
Sangak Bread
Sangak break is a Iranian bread baked in stone covered fire ovens. The bread is elaborately designed and represents prosperity for the couple.
Termeh or Praying Mattress
The Termeh is a Iranian handwoven cloth that is always a part of the Sofreh Aghd. It’s typically converted into a praying mattress and is placed right in front of the mirror.
Crystallized Sugar
This represents sweetness in the couples life.
Colored Eggs
Similar to the Haftseen table that is arranged for Nowruz (Persian New Year), colored eggs symbolize fertility.
Gold Coins
This represents wealth and financial prosperity.
Rosewater
Rosewater is widely used in Persian culture, to add fragrance to food, dessert, and to scent a space. It is added to provide a lovely fragrance to the Sofreh Aghd.
Almonds, Walnuts, and Hazelnuts
These items represent abundance and are tastefully decorated in a basket.
Honey
This represents sweetness of the couple’s union and blessings for a sweet life.
Espand
A special incense that is burnt to ward off the evil eye from the couple’s life.
Fruits
Nature’s gift, which is always present at any Persian gathering.
Kaleh Ghand (Sugar Cones)
During the ceremony, sugar cones are rubbed on the head of the couple either to shower their life with sweetness.
7 Symbolic Spices
A tray of 7 colourful spices is arranged and displayed to guard the couple against the evil eye!
Khastegari – Asking a girl’s hand in marriage
In traditional Iranian families, marriages were more or less arranged by families. When a son became eligible for marriage, his family would take him to the houses of several eligible ladies. In Persian tradition, families are extremely important, so ‘eligibility’ was largely based on the professions, involvement in the community, religious affiliations, wealth, and cultural preferences of both families. After visiting with one or more potential matches, the family of the suitor would then ask the family of a chosen bride for her hand in marriage.
Bale Boroon – Literally ‘Taking the Yes!’ in Persian
Once enough sessions of Khastegari have been accomplished and both families and the couple are happy with the idea, they set a date for Bale Boroon. Bale Boroon is a ceremony held in the house of the bride where only close relatives are invited and the idea of the marriage between the couple is announced publicly. At this point, the couple has reached the conclusion that they want to get married. The grooms family comes bringing gifts such as elegant fabrics, silk scarves, a white chador, cake and of course the engagement ring.
Mehriyeh – ‘A gift of love’ if you may!
Mehriyeh is a gift the groom promises to the bride. It’s usually equivalent to gold coins. The numbers can go as high as thousands and there’s currently a lot of debates over how much it should be in Iran. Mehriyeh is a girl’s right to be asked whenever she pleases. It is written in the marriage contract and the groom would be legally in debt if the bride announces her request through the court.