While couples of Muslim faith can be found throughout South Asia, here are some of the most common traditions by most popular regions.
Afghanistan ~ Pakistan ~ Maldives
PRE EVENTS
Manjha & Mehndi is the celebration where the couple is adorned with a Haldi paste made of sandalwood, and rose water in the Manja ceremony (also known as the Uptan or the Mayon ceremony). After the Manjha one member of the couple is adorned in intricate Arabic menhdi designs on their hands and feet, typically a day before the actual wedding.
WEDDING DAY
Baraat is the celebratory wedding procession on the day of the Nikah/Nikkah ceremony. One member of the couple enters the wedding venue along with their family and friends to dance to the beats of the dhol walas. This procession arrives at the other’s house or wedding venue.
Modern day Nikah/Nikkahs have the couple seated opposite each other between a curtain made of net, floral, and other heavy fabric.
Signing of The Nikahnama is where the wedding officiant or Qazi recites rituals from the Holy Quran. The couple then accepts the vows by announcing out loud “Qabool hai” three times in an affirmative tone. The entire ritual is called “ljab-e-Qabool”. The fathers (walises) or brothers of the couple are present during this. Then the couple look at each other as they proceed to sign the Nikahnama (Muslim marriage contract) which outlines the individual duties of the couple. Once signed, the couple is officially bound in holy matrimony according to Islamic wedding traditions. Typically, the one member of the couple signs the Nikhnama first and then it is taken to the one member of the couple as she has the ultimate say in the Nikah.
The Mirror Ceremony is following the signing of the Nikahnama. The couple are seated by each other and covered by a decorative dupatta on their heads. Although they are seated together, they can only view each other via mirrors, and a copy of the Quran is placed between their seats. Guided by the Maulvi, the couple reads Muslim prayers.
Rukhsati is the vidaai ceremony where the one member of the couple says farewell to her family to start a new life with her husband. The holy book is held above her head when she arrives at the one member of the couple’s house by her Mother-in-law who welcomes her into her new home with blessings from the almighty.
POST EVENTS
Walima or Dawat-e-Walima is the reception hosted by the family of the one member of the couple (since the one member of the couple’s family typically hosts the wedding).
Muslim > Afghanistan
PRE EVENTS
Shirini is the occasion in which one member of the couple’s family shows a willingness to accept the marriage proposal. Traditionally when this happens and the marriage proposal is accepted khimcha and dismal is sent. “Khimcha” is tray filled with sweets, toffees, and decorated with flowers and ribbon and “Dismal” is a decorated cloth signifying a new member of the family.
Sher E Nore Khore is the engagement party, traditionally hosted by one side of the couple’s family for friends and relatives. It is the time for the couple to get to know one another more intimately.
Khina Night is the Henna Night following the Engagement Party. One member of the couple wears traditional Afghan clothing, and the other’s hands are colored with Henna.
Rukhsati is where one member of the couple leaves their family to join the other’s family. Traditionally, a green cloth is tied around their waist. This event can happen a few days before the wedding or at the same time of the Nikah depending on what the couple elects to do.
CEREMONY
The Nikah is the religious ceremony where both families agree on the marriage contract. This event takes place during the day, in the presence of the couple’s immediate family and the mullah (Islamic clergy). For attire, one member of the couple wears green clothing at the Nikah and after the ceremony change into white garments. The other member of the couple wears a suit.
The Wedding Ceremony typically begins in the evening hours and ends at 2:00 am. A group of women stand on the right, and a group of men stand on the left to greet guests to their tables. A special song is played called the “Ahesa Boro” to commemorate the arrival of the one member of the couple and is a Wedding March that plays until the couple reach their seats. A feast is served with traditional Afghan foods such as shohla e goshtee, chalou, palou, and kabobs. Traditional desserts include baklava and firnee served with fruits. The ceremony ends with everyone participating in the Attan dance, after the dance everyone goes on to their homes.
POST EVENTS
Nashtaye is where one member of the couple’s family brings breakfast or lunch at the other’s home, typically the morning after the wedding. The meal comprises very delicious cuisines from Afghanistan.
Takhjami is usually celebrated one week after the wedding ceremony. The guests greet, give gifts, and wish the couple well in their new life. At this time, the new member of the couple becomes a full family member of the other’s family and not just a guest. They come with all the items they needs to start their life in the new home (these items may include bed-sheets, clothes, home accessories, etc.)
Muslim > Pakistan
PRE EVENTS
Dohlki is a small gathering of family and friends of the couple before the wedding ceremony (sometimes a couple days or a couple weeks prior). The room is furnished with decorative rugs and throw pillows, while everyone gathers on the floor in a circle to sing wedding songs on the beat of a Dholak (a two-headed hand drum).
Mayun is where the (typically female) family members, cousins, and friends of the couple gather to perform rituals. These rituals include putting oil on the hair of the couple, and applying ubtan (a face mask of turmeric, gram flour, sandalwood powder, rosewater, and milk) to their face. The rituals signify the preparation of the couple for their wedding, and are believed to enhance their beauty. The couple is not permitted to leave their home as it is considered a bad omen.
Mehndi Night is an evening filled of music, dance, and henna. Typically a traditional yellow mehndi dress or a brightly coloured shalwar kameez is worn.
CEREMONY
Nikkah Ceremony is the signing of the legal marriage contract between the couple. Two witnesses from each side must be present. Usually in attendance is the families of the couple and their close friends, as it is traditionally a small intimate event.
The Barat takes place after the Nikkah. Traditionally this where one member of the couple, their family and friends come to take the new member of the couple away. This is organized by one side of the couple’s family and can include arrangements for a reception hall, food, and photography. Typically for attire, a sherwani and traditional anarkarli lehenga is worn to the Baraat.
Rukhsati is one member of the couple being given away by their parents with the Holy Quran over their head to signify that they are being sent away with Allah’s blessing and protection.
POST EVENTS
The Valima is an event arranged by the one member of the couple as a way to celebrate the new marriage and symbolize happiness in a household after marriage. This reception typically takes place the next day following the Barat (or even a few days after as per the convenience of both families). For attire, a suit and sharara dress is worn in a pastel color.
Muslim > The Maldives
CEREMONY
In the Maldives, a traditional wedding ceremony includes a Bodu Beru (drums) procession. This is a procession of around 20 drummers that play Bodu Beru dressed in traditional clothing, leading the happy couple down the aisle and to their wedding ceremony. It is topped off by having a local gazi(judge) preside over the ceremony, all of which is done in the local Divehi dialect. Some couples that go the traditional route also choose to wear traditional Maldivian clothing. Couples can also, of course, have a western wedding and skip all of the Maldives cultural aspects. Still, many Maldives resorts that offer wedding packages due include the bodu beru drummers, as it is a great way to remind both the couple and their wedding guests that it is, after all, a destination wedding.