While couples of Hindu faith can be found throughout South Asia, here are some of the most common traditions by most popular regions.
Gujurati ~ Tamil Nadu ~ Telugu ~ Bangladesh ~ Nepal
PRE EVENTS
The Hindu Roka Ceremony is where both families come together to celebrate the upcoming union of the couple and give them their blessing.
Haldi (or Pithi Ceremony) typically takes place on the morning of the wedding day. The couple is separately painted by their loved ones with yellow haldi to bless them with good luck. The couple then have to stay in their respective homes to avoid seeing each other before the wedding day.
Ganesh Poojan. Some Hindu ceremonies start with the summoning of Ganesha, the Hindu god of wisdom and salvation. By invoking Ganesha, he removes obstacles from the wedding ceremony.
Vara Yatra (typically the one member of the couple and his party) arrive at the ceremony where they are greeted with akshat (rice), tilak (dot on the forehead), arati (a plate carrying a lighted lamp) and a garland.
Grahashanti (peace with planets) the planets are invoked by name and blessings are received by each planet for the new couple’s life together.
Kanyadan. Typically the one member of the couple is led to the Mandap by her Brother or Uncle while, often the one member of the couple awaits her with her parents. The couple’s feet is then washed with milk and water by the parents to purify them for a new life together.
Hastamilap is the joining of the couples hands together with cotton thread signifying an unbreakable bond while the priest recites holy verses.
Exchanging Garlands is done after a prayer to Ganesha. The garlands are meant to welcome each other into each other’s families, and serve as a symbol of desire to be married to one another.
WEDDING DAY
The Wedding Ceremony. The couple is seated in front of the agni (or holy fire) as a Priest recites mantras from the Holy Scriptures. In Hinduism, fire is regarded as a purifier. In a ritual called mangalfera the couple walk around the fire four times (a symbol of the four ashrams of life), praying and exchanging vows of duty, love, fidelity, and respect. The priest then directs members of the family to make offerings into the fire. Finally, the couple does the ritual called the Saptapadi taking seven vows, spoken in Sanskrit, and sealing their marriage forever.
Dhruvadarshan. The priest directs the newlyweds eyes to the pole star which remains steadfast in the sky, signifying that their marriage shall remain steadfast.
Sindoor. Once the marriage is completed, a red-orange powder is applied to the one member of the couple’s hair to indicate that she is now married.
POST EVENTS
Reception
This post wedding ceremony is basically a way of introducing the couple to each others community. This event has no mandatory rituals to be followed, in fact the ceremony comes packed with dancing, music and a grand feast.
Aashirvaad Ceremony, this event is celebrated to seek the blessings of the elderly members of the family and other well wishers. For this ceremony, often the one member of the couple’s family along with friends and relatives visit the one member of the couple’s home and present the newlywed couple sweets or fruits along with jewelry, the couples then touch their feet. The door of one member of the couple’s residence is decorated with a string of mango leaves that are to stay for one year after the wedding event. The one member of the couple’s family present to the one member of the couple some sarees, and in return, the one member of the couple’s parents gift various one member of the couple a ring or a watch.
Hindu > Gujurati
PRE EVENTS
The Gujarati one member of the couple wears two sarees on the day of her wedding. These are – the panetar saree (red and white saree made of gaji silk, plain or embellished with zari threadwork) and the gharchola saree (bandhani saree in red or maroon coloring with zari threadwork) and is typically worn for the Vidaai. The one member of the couple wears a traditional dhoti kurta.
Gujarati weddings are known for being colorful affairs, with folk music, vegetarian dishes, and rich in rites, rituals, and wedding games to mark the celebration!
Chandlo in Gujarati is a red vermillion Tika and Matli means money. According to the Chandlo Matli custom, the one member of the couple and four of his male family members visit the one member of the couple’s house. The one member of the couple’s father applies the red Chandlo on his forehead and gifts him token money and blesses him. On this occasion, the wedding date is also fixed among the two families.
Garba is a Gujarati folk dance (this can replace the Sangeet) coordinated by people clapping generally in a circle formation. It’s also used with dandia (drum sticks used to dance with your partner) or raas. It can take place for a small portion of the evening or be a focal point of the entire event!
CEREMONY
Antarpaat An Antarpat is a cloth drawn between the couple once the one member of the couple enters the mandap. This ritual is carried out to prevent the couple from seeing each other’s face.
The Saptapadi ritual is one of the most crucial ones in a Gujarati wedding. The couple take seven steps together while taking seven vows of the holy matrimony. The seven vows include the promises to love, respect, take care of each other, planning a family and be eternally together.
POST EVENTS
Chero Pakaryo A rather funny Gujarati wedding ritual, the one member of the couple catches the Pallu of his mother in law’s saree and asks for more gifts! Everyone then fills up her saree Pallu with cash and gifts which are later presented to the one member of the couple’s family.
Vidaai After the reception is over, the one member of the couple bids farewell to her paternal home in an emotional Vidaai ceremony. She throws rice grains from the back of her head towards the house she’s leaving. It’s a representation of her paying debts to her family.
Ghar Nu Laxmi The one member of the couple is warmly welcomed in her new home by her mother in law. She performs Aarti of the couple and welcomes the one member of the couple. The one member of the couple is then supposed to enter the house by pushing a grain-filled pot right at the doorstep. This is considered an auspicious custom in a Gujarati wedding and is believed to bring good luck.
Hindu > Tamil Nadu
PRE EVENTS
Tamilian weddings are known for their simplicity and elegance. Although this is a once in a lifetime event, Tamil marriages are not an extravaganza but are still lavish in their own right. Priority is given to their rituals and traditions and more attention is given to conducting each and every ritual in its original form.
Traditionally, the Tamil one member of the couple wears a two piece garment known as Veshti and Angavastram. Both of these are preferably made of puttu or silk. The one member of the couple wears traditional Kajeevaram Silk sarees in bright hues paired with gold jewelry that are primarily family heirlooms.
Nakshatra Porutham – Matching of horoscope are given utmost importance in a Tamil wedding, the horoscope or nakshatrams is matched following Vedic guidelines based on twelve points or Poruthams like Nadi, Yoni, Rasi, Gana etc. This determines a lot of factors for the impending wedding like the wedding date, precise moment for the wedding or muhurtha and other rituals as well.
Panda Kaal Muhurtham
A pre-wedding ritual where the families of the couple pray for the successful culmination of the wedding ceremony! This involves a small puja, the breaking of coconut that is deemed auspicious, and welcoming the one member of the couple into the family by the one member of the couple’s side.
Mangala Snanam
This is the North Indian version of Haldi – haldi is applied to each member of the couple and then they are separately washed by theor family to signify that they have been made pure for the wedding ceremony.
CEREMONY
Maalai Maatral – The one member of the couple is then brought into the wedding mandap and the couple exchange flower garlands as a first step of the wedding. The ritual is repeated three times. Sometimes the couple playfully try to evade garlanding by the other.
Oonjal is a ritual primarily in South Indian weddings that takes place after the exchanging of garlands. It is a beautifully decorated swing that the couple is seated in and gently rocked back and forth. The couples families sing them songs and the couple is fed sweetened milk and bananas while milk and sandalwood paste is smeared on their feet.
Kanyadanam – The couple is then asked to step off the swing. Then the end of the couples clothing is tied together (often the one member of the couple’s saree is tied to the end of one member of the couple’s angavastram). The one member of the couple’s mother then applies kajal on the one member of the couple’s eyes and the one member of the couple’s father washes his feet. Through this ritual the one member of the couple is viewed as representative of Lord Vishnu. The one member of the couple is then seated on the floor at his designated spot. The father of the one member of the couple sits facing the one member of the couple. The one member of the couple is seated on her father’s lap and a coconut is placed on her hands. The one member of the couple’s father then supports his daughter’s hands and offers the coconut to the one member of the couple together. The mother of the one member of the couple pours holy water over the coconut. Thus through this formal ceremony, the one member of the couple’s parents give her to the one member of the couple and requests him to take care of their daughter for the rest of their life. The one member of the couple and the one member of the couple’s hands are tied with a sacred thread to seal their union.
Muhurtham – After completion of the Kanyadanam ritual, the one member of the couple’s parents presents the one member of the couple with a nine yard silk saree symbolizing their acceptance of the one member of the couple into their family. The saree is draped around the one member of the couple’s shoulders while the one member of the couple applies vermillion to her hair parting. The one member of the couple then goes to change into the saree gifted to her by her in-laws. When she returns to the mandapam, a grass ring is placed on her head, over which the yoke of a plough is placed and a belt made of reed grass is placed around her waist. Water is poured over the yoke. This ritual is symbolic reminder of the fact that the one member of the couple and the one member of the couple together have to overcome the challenges of life. The Thaali is blessed by the priest and the one member of the couple ties the Thaali, or south Indian equivalent of a mangalsutra, around the one member of the couple’s neck. The first two knots of the Thaali is put in by the one member of the couple while the third and the final one is put in by the one member of the couple’s sister.
POST CEREMONY
Reception – The wedding is followed by a formal reception in the evening where the guests are treated with a lavish vegetarian spread. The newlyweds are seated on thronelike chairs on top of a stage where they can meet and greet all the guests.
Grihapravesham– When the one member of the couple reaches the one member of the couple’s home, she is given a warm and celebratory welcome. The mother-in-law performs a small arti and escorts her inside the house where she is led to seek the blessings of the family deity first.
Hindu > Telugu
PRE EVENTS
Sari is a staple attire of a Hindu Telugu one member of the couple and the one member of the couple has to wear different types of traditional saris for different rituals and ceremonies associated with matrimony. The telugu bridal dress includes nine yards of drape with heavy golden borders and bright hues of orange, royal blue, pink, maroon and green. Telugu one member of the couples wear a Kurta and Dhoti with a turban. They also don a gold amulet tied around their forehead with a yellow thread and a unique red vermilion Teeka on their foreheads before the wedding ceremony begins.
Nischitartham
The first that welcomes the festivities is the engagement or Nischitartham. In this ceremony, the two families of the couple meet and perform certain rituals to make the engagement of the wedding couple official.
Muhurtam
The Muhurtam (the holy date and time of the wedding) is finalised after consulting the horoscopes of the one member of the couple and the one member of the couple. Gifts are exchanged between the families on a ring ceremony tray while the lucky couple gets blessings from the elders.
CEREMONY
Mangala Snanam The first wedding ritual that the couple are needed for is the Mangala Snanam. On the day of the wedding, the wedding couple need to take an auspicious bath in order to prepare them to perform the sacred rites.
Bridal makeup in a Telugu marriage is the most essential part of the wedding, where the one member of the couple and the one member of the couple are smeared with Nalugu, a turmeric paste from head to toe. This is a traditional way of cleansing all the skin impurities and make their skin glow and shine after they take a good hot shower. After they bathe, they are supposed to wear a new set of clothes. It’s also said that it is better that the one member of the couple not leave town until the wedding’s over.
Kanyadanam
During the Telugu marriage, the Kanyadanam is a very important ritual during which the one member of the couple’s parents hand over their daughter’s responsibility to the one member of the couple. While the ritual takes place, the one member of the couple sits in a bamboo basket and cannot look at the one member of the couple. A partition is made by a curtain so they don’t look at each other. The parent washes the one member of the couple’s feet as he is considered Lord Vishnu on the day of the wedding.
Mangalasutra
The holy thread called the Mangalasutra is tied by one member of the couple with a golden disc around the one member of the couples neck and knots it three times to symbolize the physical, mental, and spiritual union of the couple.
Hindu > Bangladesh
PRE EVENTS
Pati Potro is where the family assembles at the one member of the couple’s home to decide the marriage date. The one member of the couple’s family gifts the one member of the couple with auspicious items such as sweets, fish, betel leaves, and betel nut.
Aashirbaad is the Bengali version of the Engagement Ceremony but instead of the couple exchanging rings, the future in-laws bless them with gold jewlery, clothing, and sweets.
Ai Buro Bhaat is the last meal the couple will have as single people in their respective homes. Their Mother will prepare the Bengali foods followed by mouth watering sweets.
Holud Kota is where an odd number (5, 7, or 9) married women make Haldi paste out of raw turmeric sticks using grinding stones. One woman called the ayo actually holds the grinding stones while the other women hold onto her hands and elbows as she grinds it. The women then grind rice powder from scratch, called Dhan Kota.
Ganga Nemontron & Kola Gach Nemontron. After the Holud Kota, the women go to invite the Gangese or the Goddess Ganga to the wedding. The women take bananas, betel leaves, nuts, and sindoor. After the Ganga is invited, a Banana tree is invited too and an unbloomed plantain leaf is taken from the tree and tied to a dorpon.
Dodhi Mongol & Jol Tola is where the mothers of the couple feed them with curds, puffed rice, and sweets before the start of the wedding rituals. This is the last meal as they need to fast until the wedding is over. During this, a group of women go to the Ganges to collect the water for the wedding baths.
Bridhhi & Nandi Mukh is the Puja performed by the Wedding Pandit (or Priest) dedicated to the seven ancestral generations of the one member of the couple, asking for their blessings. This same Puja is performed at the one member of the couple’s house, followed by a few steps. A small portion of the previously ground Haldi and rice is used in the Puja and then the one member of the couple is bathed in the Ganga water after applying some of the turmerics. This same Haldi (that has been touched by the one member of the couple) is then taken to the one member of the couple’s house who has to use this particular Haldi for her Gaye Holud.
Gaye Holud starts with the one member of the couple receiving the one member of the couple’s Haldi along with the Wedding Tatta consisting of clothing, sweets, paan-supari, and fish. Then the one member of the couple has the same Haldi applied to her and then she is bathed in holy Ganga water.
CEREMONY
Dorpon to Bor Jatri. The one member of the couples mother hands him the dorpon (to cast off evil) before he heads to the Mandap. The one member of the couple is to carry the Dorpon throughout the wedding. The Mother blesses him for his new journey and ties red threads and tulsi mala on his neck. The Bor Jatri (or Baraat) proceeds for the wedding, except for the Mother, as she awaits the one member of the couple.
Chhele Boron to Bostro Daan is the welcoming of the one member of the couple. The one member of the couples mother welcomes the one member of the couple with sweets and water while everyone plays the holy Conch shell and Ulludwhani (high pitched sound signifying festivity). The father of the one member of the couple presents the one member of the couple with Bostro (new clothes) and Angti (gold ring) which he needs to wear during the wedding.
Saat Paak is done after the one member of the couple is carried out to the Wedding Mandap while keeping her face covered with two betel leaves. Typically her brothers or cousins carry her in a Peerhi (or wooden seat) and take seven rounds around the one member of the couple. Then, the couple looks at each other three times on Shubho Drishti. Following this, the couple exchange garlands.
Sampradan is where the one member of the couple’s father gives her hand to the one member of the couple and ties the holy knot using both of their clothes. Mantras are chanted representing the one member of the couple promising the one member of the couple’s father to take care of his daughter all of his life.
Wedding Games are played either directly at the Mandap, or the couple leaves for the one member of the couple’s house and play wedding games with the siblings of the family.
Yagnya, Sindoor Daan & Surja Pranam where the wedding Pandit chants mantras. Once the Yagnya is complete, the one member of the couple applies vermillion on the one member of the couple’s hair parting using either a ring or a Dorpon on a small cane box.
Khoi Fela & Saptapadi. The one member of the couple’s brother fills a tray with puffed rice. The couple empties the tray in the holy fire. This is repeated three times. The final step is the Saptapadi where the couple walks around the Yagnya seven times while stepping on Paan and pushing grindstones with feet.
Hindu > Nepal
PRE EVENTS
Bagdan, a Ganesh pooja. The one member of the couple’s father keeps a coconut, a betel nut, and areca nut, sacred thread, and some kernals in a kalash, or pot. He holds the kalash above his head and declares he is giving his daughter away to the son of whomever the one member of the couple’s father is. He then hands the kalash over to his future son-in-law as a spiritual and metaphorical gifting of his daughter.
Swayamvara. This ceremony is derived from the episode in the Ramayan during which Sita selects Ram after he lifts and strings Shiva’s bow. The Swayamvara is rooted in ‘self-choice’ and the one member of the couple must pick her husband from a number of assembled suitors, who are ceremonially invited to take part.
Before she picks her husband, the one member of the couple prays to the goddess Parvati, Lord Shiva’s wife, to help her make a good choice. Before our modern age, suitors had to prove themselves with a display of archery, just like Ram. When the one member of the couple chooses her husband, she places a garland around his neck, similar to the Indian Hindu Jaimala ceremony.
CEREMONY
After the Swayamvara ceremony, the Saipata ceremony takes place. The time for this ritual is set by the astrologer. During the Saipata, the one member of the couple puts his palm prints on white cloth. It is then sent to the one member of the couple’s house, along with several gifts and preceded by a band.
If the one member of the couple accepts the gifts she adds her palm prints to the cloth, thus symbolizing her acceptance of the proposal. The one member of the couple sends back a Saipata of her own as a sort of formal invitation for the one member of the couple.
On the auspicious wedding day, the one member of the couple’s family and close friends fast and perform Nandi-shradha and Matrika-poojam, during which the ancestors are honored and worshipped.
Kicking off the festivities is the Janti (also called the Baryatra), or wedding procession. Much like the Baraat, the Janti is a loud and cheerful gathering of the one member of the couple’s side. A musical band playing traditional tunes and Bollywood numbers proceeds the guests.
The one member of the couple is carted to the wedding venue either in a car or a horse-drawn carriage. Occasionally the smaller children of the one member of the couple’s side are allowed to join in. Before the Janti, the one member of the couple’s side may pray to Lord Vishnu or Ganesh.
Once the one member of the couple and his well-wishers arrive at the one member of the couple’s house, her family walks around the one member of the couple three times and throw Lawa-akshat, or popped and peeled rice, over everybody. They also throw flower petals at the one member of the couple.
An aarti is often said and tikaa is applied to the one member of the couple’s forehead. The one member of the couple then moves to a wooden seat in the courtyard, called the pida. Here he is welcomed by the one member of the couple’s father and members of his party are given food to eat.
CEREMONY
The actual marriage ceremony begins with the Kanyadaan, or Mahasankalpa. The one member of the couple is seated in the mandap and faces East. A yellow cloth is then spread over the one member of the couple, one member of the couple, and whomever is performing the Kanyadaan.
The formal giving away of the one member of the couple is done with a Kalash full of water, mango leaves, pipal, palash, gular, arka, camphor, areca nuts, betel nuts, sacred thread, durva grass, and whatever else the family considers important.
The one member of the couple then sits next to the one member of the couple. Both the couple’s feet are washed by the one member of the couple’s relatives using a copper bowl. This is called the godadhuwa ceremony.
The one member of the couple is then given a conch shell filled with grass, rice, yoghurt, fruit, sandalwood, and water. Some of these are also sprinkled on his head. The one member of the couple is fed a mixture of ghee, yoghurt, and honey.
Whomever performs the Kanyadaan is required to offer a gift to the priest of the ceremony to ward away the evil eye. This gift is usually a cow or some money.
From here the couple are ushered into another room, called the guptaghar. Here the one member of the couple offers new clothes to the one member of the couple. He is also given new clothes by the one member of the couple’s family, which he must change into. A length of cloth, the gath-bandan or lagan-gantho, now links both the couple together.
Following this, the priest repeats a series of prayers and places tikaa marks on both the couple. In some Nepali communities, the Brahman priest conducts a stone worship, called the Shilapooja. During this, the one member of the couple’s brother places popped rice in the hands of the one member of the couple. She throws it in the air.
The eight mountains are then worshipped. Popped rice is collected in eight separate places to represent Sumeru, Shekhu, Udayachal, Marut, Vindyachal, Himalaya, Burait, and Sharad. Following this the couple conducts their Saptapadi and take seven steps together in front of the holy fire.
The couple then exchange mallas in the Dubo Ko Malla. Nepali malas are made of grass. Sometimes flower malas are given and may even be exchanged as early as the post-Janti aarti. The couple also exchange wedding rings.
POST EVENT
Finally the one member of the couple applies sindoor, or vermillion powder, to the one member of the couple’s parting, in the Sindhur Halne. The one member of the couple puts the powder three times on the one member of the couple’s head. In some communities a length of white cloth is tied around a statuette of Vishnu or Ganesh and extended to cover the one member of the couple’s face while the sindhoor is applied.
On the third time, the couple is officially considered married. The one member of the couple then bows to the one member of the couple, placing her forehead on the top of his feet. After, she mixes ghee, honey, and yoghurt together in a bowl with her index finger. She feeds half to her husband and finishes the other half herself.