While couples of Buddhist faith can be found throughout South Asia, here are some of the most common traditions by most popular regions.
Buddhist marriage traditions are a unique combination of traditional Buddhist rituals along with local customs dictated by geography and culture. Typically, in India, Buddhist marriages are civil affairs devoid of the extensive religious rituals.
Traditionally, Buddhists in India go through an arranged marriage process. A match is made by creating a marriage biodata. Horoscope matching is an important factor when matching among Buddhists.
PRE EVENTS
Engagement Ceremony or Chessian
The formal engagement ceremony is called Chessian and is fixed on an auspicious day. The families of the couple meet and a simple ceremony is organized with a Buddhist monk reciting prayers. Depending on local tradition, a sacred drink called Madyan is distributed among the guests attending the Chessian.
WEDDING DAY
Marriage vows
The couple are made to recite the Vandana, Tisarana and Pancasila which are a series of hymns in the Pali language. Then they recite the sacred vows for marriage from Sigilovda Sutta. Rings and garlands may also be commonly exchanged after the wedding vows are recited.
POST EVENTS
Wedding Feast
The guests sit down for most commonly a sit down meal banquet featuring vegetarian and non-vegetarian family style meals. Later lively singing, dancing, and speeches take place.
Buddhist > Bhutan
Lhabsang
Early on the chosen auspicious day of the wedding, the monks chant the mantras while burning the incense and making offerings to the local deities. This ritual is performed outside the temple and prior to the arrival of the couple. It is a general belief that if local deities are pleased, the ceremony would go smoothly and successfully and the blessings of love and happiness would come true to the ones seeking for them. That is the reason why chanting incense and making offerings to the deities as a way to seek for deities’ approval are indispensable rituals of each ceremony in Bhutan.
Butter Lamp
Upon the arrival of the couple, the butter lamps would be lit up after 6 times prostration of the couples, 3 times at the Head Lama or Rimpoche and 3 times at the main altar. It is believed that the lighting of a butter lamp not only lights up the house of God but also lights up one’s own life.
Thrisor
After the arrival of the couple, the monk and the Head lama would perform Thrisor service. This purification and cleaning ritual is believed to cleanse the people’s body, speech, mind, soul and more importantly all the sins.
Changphoed
Changphoed is the offering of Ara or locally grown brew to the deities. After the offering, the remaining brew would be served and shared by the couple in the same phoob or a traditional wooden bowl. This signifies the bond that the couple will share for the rest of their lives. The ritual is followed by the exchange of rings.
Exchange of Rings
The exchange of rings ritual is to bind the couple forever.
Tsepamey Choko
Tsepamey is the name of the God of longevity and the ritual includes the blessings to the couple for a life-long happy marriage. This ritual is performed by the Head Lama.
Zhugdrey Phunsum Tshogpa
Zhungdrey is the food sharing ritual that takes place during the ceremony. Fruits and food are served to the local deities, then to God and finally to the people gathering at the ceremony. The fruits represent the close bond between the couples and ensuring eternal happiness.
Dhar Naynga
The last part of the ceremony is the presentation of the symbolic five-color scarves or Dhar Nyanga. The ceremony ends with the offering of the scarves to the couple along with good wishes for their marriage.
Buddhist > Sri Lanka
PRE EVENTS
In Sinhalese-Buddhist tradition there is not a formal wedding engagement practice. Buddhist tradition, in general, calls for a more reserved affair. The couple meets with their parents to formally select their wedding date for their wedding ceremony (or sometimes a priest is present borrowing from Hindu Tamil tradition). The specifics for how this is carried out will be entirely dependent on the couple and their family traditions.
The Nekath
The auspicious time or The Nekath, or is an important part of a Buddhist wedding ceremony. The date and the nekatha are decided by an astrologer after consulting the horoscopes of the couple.
CEREMONY
The Poruwa
A traditional Sinhala-Buddhist marriage ceremony is known as the poruwa siritha or poruwa ceremony. The poruwa is a decorated wooden platform that represents the house the couple will share and symbolizes their marriage and the start of their new life together.
Many of the rituals and traditions practiced forthe poruwa ceremony are sacred to Buddhism.
Religious chants are recited by the ashtaka throughout the ceremony while these rituals are performed.
The ceremony begins at the given auspicious time, with the each member of the couple standing at the left and right side of the poruwa with their family. They step onto the platform.
When the couple is standing next to each other on the platform, the shilpadhipathi presents a collection of betel leaves to them. These are a symbolic offering to the gods.
The couple is also presented with a tray bearing seven separate sheaves of betel leaves, with a coin placed on top of each sheaf for good luck. The couple takes turns to pick up the leaves from each sheaf and drop it onto the platform. This is practiced to remember the seven generations of the couple.
The Tying Of The Pirith Nool
The tying of the sacred thread or pirith nool is a symbol of the union of marriage. The couple’s little fingers are tied together with the sacred thread by a family member of the couple who then pours holy water or pirith pan their tied fingers. This ritual is significant as water and earth are two sacred elements in Buddhism.
The Gifting Of White Cloth
After the pirith nool ritual, one member of the couple presents the length of a white cloth to the other member of the couple’s Mother (or Parent). This is an expression of the giver’s gratitude to the parental figure for raising their partner.
Milk And Kiribath
The milk rice is one of the most special dishes out of all the sweetmeats a part of the wedding spread. Traditionally the couple is fed a mouthful of milk rice and given a sip of milk by each of their Mothers. This ritual symbolizes the start of the couple’s new life together with their Mothers blessing.
Then the couple steps down from the platform, right foot first, and the shilpadhipathi, along with a few members of the couple’s family, breaks a fresh coconut into two to bless the couple’s marriage, while the couple light the traditional oil lamp.
POST EVENTS
The custom of the ‘homecoming ceremony’ that takes place a few days after the wedding ceremony is a relatively new Sinhala-Buddhist wedding custom. Typically the one member of the couple is gifted a saree and saree jacket at the Poruwa by her Mother to be worn for her homecoming ceremony.